Sanft besetzen die Nebelschwaden,
sie kriechen einfach um die Waden,
den See, in dem wir heimlich baden.
Ich stehe am Strand und sehe zu,
es ließe mir einfach keine Ruh’,
dich zurückzulassen, ganz im Nu.
Jetzt bist du fort, ich sehe dich nicht,
es fehlt mir einfach das kleinste Licht,
und ich weiß nicht, ob ich das rich
tigetu.
Ich liege im Bett und weine,
denn Aussicht habe ich keine.
Wohin ich meine Gedanken lenke,
woran auch immer ich denke,
da bist du.
I would like to talk to her. I would say:
„Hey. I really do like you but I don’t think I can keep it up any longer. When I am with you, when I see you at school or anywhere else, I am happy and enjoy it. You also seem to like me. But then, when I asked you to hang out, something is different. We’ve had plans to hang out for three times and every time something came up. I am not sure if I can survive the disappointments any longer. You say, you don’t want to go to the movies with me, because you don’t want me to pay for you and your dad doesn’t want to give you the money? I wouldn’t let YOU pay for it! And then you make plans with other people to go to the movies… But when I see you again, you are the nicest person in the world and I don’t know what I am supposed to do. I will ask you one more time to go to the movies. I will call it a date. If you say you don’t want to go, just say it. And I am not trying to make you feel guilty. Technically, there is no way I could do that. Either you like me, than you’ll be happy that I like you as well and we can just do what we both want, or you don’t like me and you won’t care.
Maybe you are just shy and afraid of going out with me. Please don’t be. I am not able to tell the difference between being shy and not liking me. When I saw you again today, at the party, you seemed to be happy to see me.
Well, I cannot take any more disappointments and I need some input from your side. I don’t know if you noticed it but I was a little depressed the last couple days. We did not talk during these days, because I did not talk to you. That means, that you don’t talk to me either. Every time we talk, it is because I come to you and talk to you. I message you, I call you, I walk over to you. There is nothing coming from you.
Maybe you like me but you don’t want to date or do anything else than talk when we’re at the same party or in the same class. I would not like that. I only have 37 days left before I go back and I know that it will be hard for both of us and that it will be even harder if we get any closer, but you are intelligent. We can make it; you know that it will only be for 36 days.
Now I am waiting. Again, I am waiting for your response. Please say something. Even better, say the truth.“
That’s what I would say but unfortunately I can’t.
Well, there is not a lot to say about that. I am in love. My heart actually starts beating faster when I think about her and I have to smile when I see her. I don’t even remember the last time I felt the way. It is interesting, but I am not sure if I like it. Since I know her, I have trouble sleeping. But, on the other hand, she makes me happy. And on the third hand, I know that it all has to be over in about 2 months.
You remember the girl I told you about? Well, I took her to Prom. I just thought it would be a nice idea and it turned out rather good. We talked and laughed a lot and we even danced. I am more a fan of slow dancing, because you can converse more. We definitely have a lot in common so there’s plenty to talk about.
I think it was a great night and I am also quite certain she had fun. Well, before yesterday we had plans on hanging out today. Yesterday she actually asked me to call her today to tell her if I could go. So I made sure I can go. Then I called her and she told me she would be hanging out with a friend.
I know that she is not going to stop hanging out with her old friends just because of me, but doing it after making plans with me? I am totally thrown up now and have no clue what to think. I am very sure she liked the evening yesterday but I must have done something wrong.
And again, I don’t know what to do.
I am going to tumblr. WordPress is just to complex for what I’m doing and I really like the way tumblr works.
You can find me there: http://methinking.tumblr.com
EDIT: I’m just moving the short quotes and stuff to tumblr. Longer texts will stay here.
I usually don’t like quoting long passages, but I’ll make an exception here. She said all that is to be said.
via stayherewithme
By the way, I am probably moving to tumblr.com.
As I said in my last post I’m living in the United States right now as an exchange student. Well, I have found one important thing to think of as an exchange student besides learning the language and not getting fat. Relationships. First of all, I came over here last September and I am going to leave in June. The flights are quite expensive these days and unless I’m getting rich or they’re getting cheaper it is not very likely that I am coming back. Of course, I did not go to the United States to not have any relationships, but they throw up the question: How much should I do? How far should I go? Since I am a teenager I cannot go somewhere without finding some girls hot or exciting. But that’s not what I am talking about. A couple of weeks the topic Prom came up and because I try to do as much as possible I thought about going. Now, I am not the kind of person that goes alone to Prom, so I needed a date. That again left my with the question what kind of relationship I wanted. I will try to explain that.
On the one hand, I want to have fun. That might sound selfish, but if I can have fun without hurting somebody, why not? Well, on the other hand, it is not as easy as it sounds. Let’s just say I found a girl that I like. Should I start dating her and get more serious about things? I have to go back to Germany and she won’t be able to. So that is not really an option. I actually did find a girl I like, but right now I’m trying to hang out with her, talk a lot, laugh a lot, but I am not sure yet where I am going with that. I am taking her to Prom, though. It probably also depends on the person. She seems to me to be rather intelligent and open-minded. Which makes me think that she is careful about what to do and that’s good because I don’t know what to do right now.
I guess I will just keep meeting her because it feels right and I still have about two months left to wrap things up.
I spend this year as an exchange student in the United States. And of course, being away from friends and family for such a long time gives you quite a bit to think about. So does the fact that you are definitely going home after that year and probably not coming back. These things gave me a couple of thoughts, which I’d like to share with you. Maybe not today, but very likely in the next month or so. They are also very like to be written in English, since I’m having a hard time keeping my German up while reading, speaking and thinking English all day. I am not sure if I can write as good in English as in German, but I hope that you will get the ideas.
